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ABOUT ME - PAGE THREE
The summer of '69 was a very busy one
at that. I made quite a few connections/friends in the city & was
living in a house full of "hippies", as the neighbors called
us. We were all free loving, free living older teenagers. Janis became
my favorite singer. Oh Janis, with her rendition of 'Summertime'!!!
Wow! I could relate to her in many ways. No, not for her ability to
belt out the blues the way no one else had, but because she was 'different'
from almost all other singers. Her songs went deep inside ... you could
hear & feel the hurt & sadness. Oh Janis!! Thank ya gal for
helping me through a tough time in my life!
The war in Vietnam took some of our
friends. Some who made it back, were mentally out of it. Police brutality
in the city against our gay brothers & sisters began to take it's
toll. Many of us, gay as well as str8, were needing a change .... something
to let out all our frustrations .... something to help us 'forget' for
a while. From the brutality & unfairness the establishment had towards
our black population & homosexuals, Vietnam & politics in general,
it was a difficult time for those of us who felt we couldn't take it
much longer. Protest songs were still filling the air waves with words
of love, peace & protesting the war but it didn't seem to help.
We were being monitored by the very
society/government which caused much of the pain & unrest &
we didn't like it one bit. Stories from 'down south' were just a reminder
of what an undivided country we live in & the hate that ran rampant.
We couldn't understand why. We wanted answers & change. We wanted
those guilty of crimes against innocent people punished. We wanted peace
& diversity! Hell, we just wanted to live our lives without so much
objection from the masses. Why couldn't everyone live in harmony? Who
were we hurting? Why did anyone care about what color we were, who we
were sleeping with & why the hell are we in Vietnam anyway??? If
it was 'really' a PEACE MISSION (as we were told) why were so many of
our boys being killed? Where was the PEACE?
 On
June 27th, 1969 I went in to the city to hang around as usual. As I
said before, the Village was the place to go if you wanted excitement
& partying. A few of my friends & I hooked up at Washington
Square & began walking down W. Washington Place towards Christopher
St. A car full of kids screamed out at us that there was another raid
at the Stonewall. All of us began running. By the time we got there
the paddy wagons were being loaded up. There were many people with bloody
faces, some being kicked while on the ground, beatings going on with
bully clubs .... it was just like a war had broken out. It WAS a war!!
Our brothers & sisters were fighting back. They've had enough!!
It was us against the 'system'!! We all chimed in pulling the special
officers off those we could, trying so hard not to be taken in.
All of us were taking the hits but we
got our own in too. Adrenaline was high. It was us or them, our lives
were on the line. I was able to find a tire iron someone obviously dropped.
I raised it high to whack an officer over the head when I heard someone
scream, "Get away, here they come!!" I didn't need any more
warning as I looked up to see hordes of police pounding their way through
the crowd. I ducked around a group of fighters and found my way clear.
It was total mayhem that night. Everyone was hyped, angry, scared, battered.
The next day those of us who made it
out regrouped & went looking for our friends. I remember going into
one precinct & glancing into a room that had it's door ajar, seeing
a drag queen handcuffed to the radiator (heater) pipes with his pants
down around his knees. Something was sticking out of his buttocks.......
yeah, a bully club!! I've heard so many stories about the hell many
of our sisters and brothers went through. Some of them died inside after
being brutalized by the cops. At seeing that I felt like throwing up.
The hate built up inside like never
before! I hated the system for allowing such a thing to happen. I hated
the world at that point. 'They' were terrorizing the blacks in the south
and 'us' in the north. The system was crazy with hate and bigotry.
Every place we went we had to act 'normal'
and polite but 'they' knew!!! I honestly can't remember how long the
rioting lasted but it seemed like ages.. Many of us went out looking
for trouble during the late hours. We were ready, had our chains &
whatever else we could easily arm ourselves with. Of course many stayed
inside, too frightened at the thought of being caught & what the
consequences were if they were. Many of us came out of it with our pride
but others were broken down. 'They' (law enforcement) made sure of that.
"They' were no different than the Gestapo in Germany during WWII
& the establishment allowed it to happen. Society was sick. How
could this crap be going on in America???
That was the beginning of change. We
put up a stand, fought for what we believed in & said, "We
aren't taking any more of this bull$#@% ANYMORE!!!" Change didn't
come right away though but it was a start. A long hard struggle, many
battle wounds, some died, some committed suicide, some broke down completely,
some were committed to mental facilities & some survived. I'm happy
I was one of the lucky ones to have survived & live to tell about
it. I held my head high, with the deep down pride for standing up for
what I believe in & taking a stand against those who wanted to suppress
us. I vowed back then that I was never going to step back in to that
dark, dank closet again! I was FREE!!!
NEED TO GET SOMETHING
OFF MY CHEST
You'll have to pardon me here
for the following that I feel the need to say. You see, there
isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel an overwhelming thankfulness
deep inside for my homosexual sisters & brothers before
me, who suffered while trying to bring about change. I'm totally
indebted to them. I know how difficult it was for my generation,
which was barely anything like what they had to go through.
Therefore, I have a difficult
time with those my age who were aware of their lesbian/gay feelings
during their younger years, but took the 'easy' way out by doing
what society & family expected of them knowing full well
they were living a lie. They looked the other way while some
of us were getting our butts kicked .... they laughed when they
heard put-down jokes about homosexuality. Some of us were disowned
by our families. Some of us received mental & physical battle
wounds for our courage to stand up & be who we were born
to be. I feel the ones who turned their backs on us are cowards
... especially after living the lie society wanted them to ....
getting married & bringing innocent children in to the world.
Then when they think it's 'safe', they find the 'guts' to be
open (out) later in life, practically ruining the lives of their opposite-
sex partners, their children & family members.
Now that the long hard fights
seem a bit easier, they decide to 'find themselves' & 'discover
who they really(?) are'. Well, more power to ya's because I
for one don't appreciate you hiding when we needed you. I don't
think it's fair to the lifelong lesbians & gays, nor to
your family members who have been innocent throughout the years
of your pretending. How can some of you ever be trusted when
you announce to the world that deep down inside, you've 'always
been homosexual' but never took a stand against the very society
that wanted to put us all down???
I know I sound as if I'm being
judgmental& maybe I am but I was one of those people who
fought for the security you have now in 'coming out'. I have
a hard time forgiving cowardly acts when each person was needed
to make the difference that took so long to come about .....
and guess what folks, the battles aren't over. You come out
to your friends & maybe family but some of you are still
hiding behind that heterosexual apron in your community, to
your employers & society. You know damn well it's not yet
'safe' to be honest & completely open. Think about it!
I DO hope you're proud of yourselves.
That's all I'll say on the subject
.....
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Slowly, change was made but the battle
continues & will as long as there is hatred, self-righteousness
& control freaks. BUT, we can't give up .... NEVER!
 Then
came July 1969 ..... ahhhhhh!!! We were planning our trip to Upstate
NY. I was born there so it felt like 'goin' home again' but this was
going to be one hell of a party. We were going to a huge concert. Anyone
who was anybody was going to be there and thoughts of booze, smoke,
babes, free love, Jimi, Janis, The Grateful Dead, Crosby, Stills, Nash
& Young (their 1st concert, I think), SHA-NA-NA, Joan Baez, Blood,
Sweat & Tears, Jefferson Airplane, Melanie , Joe Cocker, Sly &
The Family Stone, The Who & on & on & on ..........
We were gonna have one hell of a time!!!
I'll tell you what, it rained most of the time, mud up to your 'expectations'
& then some, food got scarce, fresh water was being handed out but
we had our smoke & booze AND if those important rations got skimpy,
there was some to be found elsewhere in the crowd. It was hell but well
worth it. I actually got to see
Janis. Wow!!!! I don't know who was more stoned & drunk ... Janis
or me. *S*
I can smile now but back then I was
miserable with the weather & all BUT I wouldn't trade the experience
for anything. Those who didn't wind up going missed one hell of a time.
Who thought it would still be a hot subject in the 2000's??
There's a saying going around ---
"IF YOU REMEMBER
WOODSTOCK,
YOU WEREN'T THERE." *LOL*
Well that's about it as
far as my younger days folks. In 1973 I moved out to Indiana with my
(then) girlfriend and her son. One day I might write about my years
there but for right now, this is all I can offer. After living in Indiana
I moved (alone) to Florida in 1982 and learned truck driving from a
gal I knew in high school.
I'm now settled down with
a wonderful womyn who had captured my heart with her loving inner beauty.
A womyn who has given me a reason to live, a reason to be a better person
& who's love has showed me that it's okay to 'feel'. I was on a
crash course before we got together but I learned that it IS possible
for a person like myself to find the 'best in life' through love, trust
& honesty.
I never knew I was capable of this deepest
of deep love until my heart found her. As my Mom used to say when referring
to her, "She an angel."
You'll learn more about my sweet Billie
Dee later in my site.
That's about it for now.
Hope your peepers survived! 
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